JenLa

I really hoped to have a finished Central Park Hoodie today. From that sentence you may have deduced that I have not, and you’d be correct. Tomorrow. In fact, probably later tonight. Here’s where I am:

Seaming. I have about 10 3 more inches to go [I seamed a bit more while waiting for my computer to reboot] and then that’s done, leaving only the button band and ends to cope with, but the seaming is taking forever. What’s more, I’ll probably have to do it all over again because I’m using the yarn to seam and the yarn isn’t terribly strong. This puts me in a bit of a huff as you can well imagine. Redoing a long and-even if I do say so myself-damn good seaming job is not terribly rewarding. Besides which, WTF am I supposed to seam it with if not the yarn I used? Bah! I’m a good finisher. I typically begin the finishing immediately after bind off and I don’t mind it. All those years of cross stitch and embroidery and fabric sewing have helped make me a more patient seamer, I believe. But you know how it is when all you want to do is knit the next thing on your list and only a tiny, not terribly exciting portion is left on the current project before you can allow yourself to begin. Torture.

I want to knit this. Or more technically, a lovely knock off version of it that someone did. In fact, I began to knit it at knit group Sunday when I fuxored the CPH fronts and needed to work on something less challenging, but it was the lapse of a moment and only from necessity. I have been so good lately with the not beginning things and with the finishing things that I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it works. Shut up, Stacey.

Oh that reminds me. Since Stacey fancies herself the KAL Police-or at least some sort of KAL Vigilante-and she seems to labor under the delusion that I owe her explanations or pictures of my UFOR project from September, this is for her:

The end of the bean blossom mittens, let us never speak of them again. I’m coming down to crunch time with all this ripping lately, though, because the last couple of projects in the UFO basket I’d really prefer to finish. We’ll see how those preferences react to my new loot preferences after SAFF, though. No projects should consider themselves unfroggable at this point. [Start warming up your "/runs" comment, Stacey.]

Oh, and this is one of the many reasons Jack has the nickname “Jackhole”:

I went looking for my notions box, not remembering it was under my desk for easy access. When I looked under the fiber room daybed, I discovered him in this act of defiling one of my fiber baskets with his fur. Right after this picture was taken he found himself suddenly outdoors for a number of hours visiting with the other cats. I’d like to climb in there and curl up for a few hours myself right about now.

It’s done. It may have required two month’s worth of UFOR focus and a hard deadline, but I finished it. More and better pics here.

Specs: Fiber Farm Play Mat
Dates: Fall 2006 to July 2007
Patterns: The original idea came from Debbie Bliss’s book, Toy Knits. The sheep and pig also came from there, but immediately I got bored and started knitting squares that were all different stitch patterns. Then I decided it needed angora goats, so I partially made up a pattern for that, based on the sheep pattern. After that, I decided it should be like our farm, so I made up a pattern for the guinea fowl. I had to make up the pattern for the guard llamas, as well, because the few available patterns I’ve seen are either too big or not really very llama-esque or both. Thank gourd I finished it before I found some other kind of animal to add to the farm. First person to say “barn cats” or “dogs” has to knit them from my pictures.
Yarns: Everything was knit with remnants from other projects and there is everything in there from Knitpicks Elegance to Blue Sky Alpacas to Dale Baby Ull.
Needles: Again, a bit of everything. The animals were mostly knit using 0’s, though.
Why? Because I’m sick? This is a present for my almost 2 year old niece. To answer Elizabeth’s earlier question: yes, the different squares are different crops. As you can see, some of the acreage has been planted and is growing, while other sections have only recently been plowed. The niece will no doubt grasp the agricultural significance of the diversity of planting, the crop rotation and bushes for erosion control as well as the environmentally friendly method of insect control, i.e., guineas. The water is unpolluted because the farmer used no synthetic fertilizers and the barn, which is elsewhere, is solar. The farmer has decided on fiber as a renewable resource and natural clothing option and treats all the animals exceptionally humanely. They eat organically grown vegetables and grains to supplement their forage and the hay was made with an alternative fuel baler. The farmer also composts their manure and uses it to fertilize the crops and has installed a gray water system for irrigation as well as recycles, produces biodiesel and lives off the grid.

Okay, I have no idea why I wrote all of that. I just made it up for filler. Yes, I’m sober. No, I’m not that green. I sure wish I were, though. I should lie and say I knit this toy as a teaching tool, to raise children right and teach them about how precious our land is, how wonderful fiber is and how desperately we need to change our thinking about agriculture, which is all true. That would sound noble, right? I strongly believe in everything I just wrote, but….

It’s a toy. Toys are fun.

I’m going to give it to her when I see her during the wedding festivities. I’ll be sure and post if I win any Best Aunt Awards. I am down to only needing to finish one project by Saturday night and it’s looking grim. I did save the least-important-to-actually-have-by-the-deadline one for last, though.

Meanwhile, I would like to show you this:

Which used to be my botched attempt at a fair isle christmas ornament. It is now this:

That would be my August UFOR project. Which means I have nearly a whole MONTH of no lip from Stacey.

This post brought to you by the No Farmers, No Food Coalition in conjunction with the STFU Foundation.

I don’t know why La and I have been on the same finishing schedule lately. Seems like we go weeks without anything to show, then we both finish a batch of stuff at once. It’s not even like we’re knitting the same things. Here’s what I’ve finished:

Stats:
Pattern: Morning Glory Shawl, pattern by Anne Hanson of Knitspot.
Yarn: Handmaiden Sea Silk, in Amethyst, 2 skeins, purchased from Tidal Brook Yarns.
Needles: Addi Turbo Lace, size US 4
Finished: July 24, 2007
Mods: I added a repeat in the center and did 8 repeats for each half of the MG chart instead of the 4 as patterned.
Comments: I made some error in this, and I still don’t know what. I used the chart instead of the long hand directions because, well, I’m hardcore pro-chart. Why read when you can look at pictures? The secret to why I have 2 columns running vertically where nothing crosses is probably in those long hand directions and it likely indicates that I should have been reading those etch-a-sketch lines on the chart differently. I don’t mind the variation at all and will consider it a design feature, I don’t think it detracts from the overall result. It matches up perfectly on both halves, so whatever I did, at least I did it consistently. The finished length of my stole is 80 inches. I used nearly every scrap of Sea Silk, too. The ball on the left is what’s left of the first hank, the right is the 2nd hank. So you can imagine the confidence with which I was knitting along on my 2nd half, knowing I had a bit of jiggle room. And you can probably imagine the beads of sweat as I did that last partial repeat. And OMG, how much do I love Addi Lace needles? I cannot wait until they go down to 0’s and up to 7’s. Just having the 1-6 is heaven, though. Lightweight! Pointy!

Does anyone else ever wish they knew how to take good finished pictures? Without a large seamless, draping and composing something like a lace shawl is always a challenge for me. I want to highlight the knitting and get a sense of the spirit of the knit and am often at a loss as to how to feature it. I want you to see the stitches as well as feel the light, airy, drapey-ness of this beloved stole.

Lucky for you, I don’t want you to sniff it. My only complaint about Sea Silk is the Silk Stink. I’ve seen discussions online where people have been ridiculed for mistaking the silk smell as being a result of the kelp used in the yarn, but silk smells so fishy sometimes that I think it’s a reasonable conclusion if you don’t know any better. I soaked it in a Eucalan bath, but I probably should have used something like Soak or at least dumped some fabric softener in there. The combination of fish and eucalyptus isn’t as appealing as it sounds.

I was even good and got out all my pieces of the Farm Play Mat last night and put them together. Pardon my flash, I’m way too lazy to take it outside right now.

I crocheted a pond [it's not done, that one hunk isn't just going to end like that] and put the livestock on it to see what they thought. As you can see, much like my real farm, I need more land. This will be the next finished object, and I hope it’s soon.

In case you haven’t seen it, the Interweave Knits fall preview is up. I shall henceforth refer to it as “The Giant Purple Vagina” issue. There are a couple things I like and may make, [Mirepoix, with some alterations and the Snowflack socks, ditto] but then again by the time I have room in the knitting queue, I may change my mind. I’m more interested in seeing if the layout has improved. Picture me sitting here, fingers tapping the table in impatience, a look on my face that tells you I’m all set to be annoyed.

There’s knitting. But first, a word from our sponsors. OK, we don’t have sponsors. We barely have readers anymore. But, because Knitch has put the call out to local bloggers to Shout It Out and I LOVE KNITCH :

[directly copied/pasted from Claudia]

Stitch N’ Pitch [July 15th] with the Braves and the Pirates! Here are some more details - get your ticket if you don’t have one yet! Special tickets are marked down from $20 to $13 for great seats in a section in the shade for an afternoon of baseball, knitting and great company… oh and don’t forget, there will be fantastic goody bags. To order these wonderful tickets, call 404-577-9100 or see Diana Baber or Susan Big at the next Atlanta Knitting Guild meeting on July 5th. You can also purchase tickets at the following shops: All That Yarn - Snellville - 770-736-6400 Knitch - Atlanta - 404-745-9276 (Knitch has only 9 seats left on the luxury bus!) Nease’s Needlework - Decatur - 404-377-6875 Magical Threads - Dahlonega - 706-867-8918 Or you can buy them directly from the Braves. By the way - Pittsburgh sold over 1000 tickets and we in Atlanta are not even at 500 total!
[/rip off]

I know you’re pussing out because of the heat. Bunch of wimps. People complain and moan about the fact that Atlanta doesn’t have fiber festivals or much for knitting events but they won’t turn up for the ones we do have. Sack up, knitters, it’s in the shade. Hot dogs, peanuts and cracker jacks! And beer, knitting, schwag and friends! Me, I’ll be on the luxury bus with Claudia, Jane and ESC. If you are one of the people going, don’t forget to knit up a preemie hat [hint: they fit a baseball.] so you can add altruism to the list of reasons to go. And by the way, TNNA? You know, baseball season is really long. It takes place during much cooler times of the year as well as the middle of summer. When you think of Hot’Lanta next year-if it’s even worth the bother next year with such a low turn out this time-why not April or September? Or, even better, put it on ice next year, where we actually have a dog in the fight.

Oh yeah, and it’s Flower Friday or Friday of Flowers or something, so I am pleased to present to you the only flowers surviving our drought:

“Kim’s Knee High” Dwarf Echinacea. The most faithful and reliable flower ever. I keep promising her buddies, I’d like to start a bed of every color of echinacea, but I’m too poor.

And here are some other flowers. Jared told me the blue ones are corn flowers. The pink, who knows? These came from a “sunny mix” can of annuals last year and volunteered to come back. Mostly I just love the way my camera is wigging out today on the neon pinks.

So I’ve been in this really crappy mood all week. It’s not even PMS. [Or, as Grace and Elizabeth's friend Ginny would say, "FTS"--Fixin' Ta Start] I can’t really say what it is but I’ve been a royal bitch all week. To the people who’ve listened to me and put up with it-La, Melissa, Sandy and Pacalaga-thanks! And also, why? It sort of came to a head this morning when, after a night of insomnia kicked off by the dog panting frantically under the bed for hours due to thunder, I was wakened by the constant and rhythmic click of his toenails as he rubbed his face with his front paw. With every swipe he touched the floorboards and I hissed at him to knock off whatever he was doing. I gave up, went downstairs and tried to read email and drink coffee, only to notice the same fucking click in the same room with me. He was at it again. I shouted at him with every ounce of evil and authority I could find and he walked up to me all unhappy. Turns out he had a gooey eye and he was wiping his face because of that. I felt like the bitch I was being and fixed him up. It helped my mood a little. Then I finished this:

Which helped a lot. My UFOR for this month allegedly is the Farm Play Mat, which I would like to finish and take to Boston to give to its recipient in August. Not content to knit it according to Debbie Bliss’s master plan, I wanted it to contain animals I have on my farm. So I made up a llama pattern.

This is the part where I got really full of myself. I put a bendy straw in his neck so he could bend down and eat. [imagined applause] I only wish the length of grass in my pastures was to scale. Someone asked me, and I can’t remember who-it was a long time ago-about the size of the toys.

My camera is on acid, I desperately need a new one. Anyway, toddler sized, I guess you’d say. Actual llama included because he wouldn’t get out of the shot. So now I’m in a [potentially temporary] better mood. You would be too, if you had a knitted llama. I get a freakish joy from knitting these little toys. I’m motivated to finish this project, though I will not be able to do so by month’s end. I even had my idea for joining the mis-matched squares of the mat [by having a meandering stream fill in the gaps] validated and improved upon when I stumbled on this book while trying to fetch another link. Verily I did bid and buy this book, it’s shipping from the UK right now.

Jared is coming home late tomorrow night and I get to keep him for almost 3 whole days. I’ll spend the first night not being able to sleep because there’s something heavy and snoring on the other half of my bed, then one day of joy at his being home, the next day I’ll be all upset because I only have one more day left, the last day I’ll be teary about not seeing him until August, then I’ll be depressed for half a week once he leaves. That’s if I see him. He tends to be out in the pastures doing man stuff like chopping up trees and digging pits when he’s home. I’m going to try and get him to build me a skirting table so I can clean fleeces. [That would be the cue for all the people who think it's too hot to go knit at a ballgame to volunteer to come skirt fleeces in the sun.] At any rate, I’ll see you after July 4th if I survive my own moods.

No, you’re at JenLa. Bet you didn’t know it was Utterly Fuck With Your Heads Week, did you? First I post an FO on Monday, then La posts one yesterday. And now today, I have another one! Try not to freak out about all this knitting content. Can we keep it up all week? [Hint: Not if the effing server won't co-operate, we can't.] Just wait until Friday when I show you the knitting content I’ll be working on tonight. There’s a knitting ROCK STAR coming to Atlanta today. I’m going to bask in the glow of her brilliance while you watch music videos and try to figure out what’s in the bottom photo.

But first, does anyone remember this song? [forget it, whippersnappers, it was before your time] I have been wracking my brain for ages trying to remember who sang it and/or what it was called, then they played it on my radio station the other day and I was all “EUREKA!!” This will definitely qualify as a WTF Weds post for all of you youngsters who don’t understand the 80’s. Anyway, let’s revive “The Sweater” if for no other reason than the very last line of the song:

Now then.

Which is, in case you’re wondering, my UFOR Project for May. It’s a spindle bag, for which I dyed the roving:

With Wilton’s, no less. Which I will elaborate upon shortly, and then spun the singles:

actually trying to over spin to get a bias effect, which largely didn’t work out. I’m a horrible and chronic under spinner. This entire project was an unsuccessful, temporarily abortive attempt at doing the energized singles thing from Twisted Sisters Sock Workbook. It’s only because I can’t learn to put enough twist in my spinning. Anyway, it’s just as effective as a spindle holder even if it isn’t biased and pretty. And I’d like to say to every person who turned up their noses at dyeing with Wilton’s: Ha! The colors are vibrant, only separated a bit [there was no blue, it came from the purple], the sugar content of the dye had no ill or sticky effects and it didn’t make the wool the least bit unpleasant. And it was exactly what I was going for. Ironically, I can’t locate the spindle for which it was made, but hey at least the lame-assed project is done and I can strike another thing from my UFO Resurrection Page.

Hey, locals, I know I mentioned the Stitch N Pitch thing and then I sort of didn’t give any details. And now I’m probably giving them too late, right? Ours is Sunday, July 15th against the Pirates. I know, who gives a crap who’s playing, right? [Except you, Hockey Mom!] Anyway, I’ll be on the Knitch bus. Where 55 bucks buys you a ticket, a bus ride from the shop to the game and back again, beverages of the adult [slash other] variety, a T-shirt and a goodie bag. Plus you get to sit in the shade, drink, eat hot dogs and knit. And there’s like shop “stuff” going on in the Babe Ruth room or something. Claudia, Jane and I will see you there, right?

I have one more picture for you.

Any guesses what Jared is holding?