JenLa

Ponchos don’t kill people; people who knit ponchos kill people.

Are you Smarter than a 2nd-Grader?

Filed under: Misc — La at 12:01 am on Sunday, May 13, 2007

Answers by 2nd graders:

Why did God make Mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make Mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mom just the same as He made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are Mothers made of?
1. God makes Mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one little dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. The rest is mostly string, I think.

Why did God give you your Mother and not some other Mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she’d like me a lot more than other people’s Moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did your Mom need to know about your Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot of it.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My Grandma says Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because Dad’s such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What’s the difference between Moms & Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home. Dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. I think she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet…you know, her hair. I’d diet… maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

11 people already beat you to it on “Are you Smarter than a 2nd-Grader?”

  1. Sandy Says:

    Thanks for the laugh!

  2. Meg in North AL Says:

    La, that’s the best Mother’s Day gift I’ve received. I’m still wiping coffee off the monitor.

  3. Diane Says:

    KidLogic - You just can’t beat it for truth and laughs!

  4. sandy Says:

    I read them out loud to my kids and I am laughing so hard I am crying, which, as you can imagine, is getting me some looks!
    :D

  5. Chris Says:

    LOL! Thanks for sharing.

  6. Carol Says:

    Ask, and you shall receive. This is priceless.

  7. Romi Says:

    Hee. That’s great!

  8. KathyMarie Says:

    “did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?”

    Love it! Thanks for sharing!

  9. lisa Says:

    Those are so totally hilarious…I’ll have to send this link to mom (who isn’t a knitter, but she’ll think it funny).

  10. Dorothy B Says:

    Oh my Lord! My tummy hurts now. That’s awesome!

  11. callie Says:

    That was so awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well? Let's hear it then!