JenLa

Ponchos don’t kill people; people who knit ponchos kill people.

A Lengthy Post About a Bunch of Crap With Some Complaining at the End

Filed under: Misc — jenifleur at 2:17 pm on Monday, July 31, 2006

Well the weekend started off nicely as I was actually able to attend SnB for the first time in a long time on Saturday. And I got presents from some really nice generous people, presents I totally don’t deserve and still have to photograph and write thank you’s for, but made me feel so good! It was raining, which always ALWAYS makes me happy. Unless I have to work outside in it. But I didn’t. So it did. And then on my way home I noticed my throat was kind of sore again. The aspirin I took for it seemed to more or less take care of it so I’m chalking it up to yackyackyacking at SnB. And then that evening my husband managed to get enough done on the coop that moving the guineas was possible. We still have to put the battens up and he’s putting the shingles on as I type but at least they can fly around and perch and have room to breathe.

So then on Sunday I was maybe going to go over and visit my Mom, depending on how she was feeling. Last week was her scan for determining if the chemo and radiation have actually done anything. The radiation reduced what remained of the spinal tumor by 40%, but that’s neither here nor there since that was the one causing her so much agony and the pain-which was supposed to be drastically helped by the radiation-is still at a 9.5 out of 10. She’s on morphine for that, so now we all feel bad about how much suffering was brought about by the radiation only to have it not do what it was meant to do. And the chemo, which is for the lung and lymphnode tumors hasn’t done anything and it’s even spreading. (and her prognosis is declining) So they switched her chemo meds and now we’ve been waiting to see what the side effects of that are going to be. Ok so anyway depending how her chemo hangover was I was going over on Sunday, right? So I picked some okra and green beans (I hate okra but grew it for her as she had no room for it) and then I decided well I’ll pickle some of this extra for Jared while I’m in the kitchen and can it on up. Now I wasn’t going to tell you about this part because well, I complain enough and seriously it must be getting really old by now. Plus it’s embarassing and plus we’d end up having all kinds of discussions about the proper way to can things and bleh, ya know? But now I decided hey I might as well blog it and tell people not to freak out.

THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU DON’T FREAK OUT: I was using a steam canner. (not a pressure steamer) Yes, yes, yes, I know steam canning is unacceptable but I was doing it anyway. Whatever. At one point I went to check it and it seemed as if there was no water in it and I thought “how is that possible??” So I lifted the lid to check it and a quart jar of boiling hot veggies exploded directly at my face. I was startled and kind of freaking out “My eyes! My eyes!” I thought, but my eyes were fine. Then I realized my left arm was red and burned and that the rest of my face might not have escaped unscathed. The mirror showed that the right lower side of my face and part of my neck were scalded. While in the bathroom rinsing it off, I heard another jar explode (inside the pot this time) I got Jared off the roof of the coop and he came and looked at me. No blisters or anything, just red and slightly swollen. He cleaned up some of the mess and got me some ice and offered to take me to the ER. And lamented his pickled veggies. Today it’s less red, still kind of swollen, there are one or two tiny blisters and I think it would be able to be covered by makeup if I were so inclined. I think I will heal. In cleaning up the aftermath, I discovered that the bottom of the pot had MELTED right to the eye of the stove.
wow
Which answered the question of how the hell the pot could have been out of water. Jared asked me if I had the stove on “high” and I did, but I still insist that any pot made to go on a stove should be able to withstand the “high” setting-plus some-without MELTING. So instead of seeing Mom, I sat around with ice and one of Rabbitch’s hand knitted washcloths on my face and felt sorry for myself. Yes, I’m lucky, yes it sounds very dangerous. Yes, scary, I know. I HOPE YOU DIDN’T FREAK OUT, I’M REALLY OK.

Today I’m trying to write a resume so I can get some kind of job. As an exercise, here’s what I’d write if I was going to be up front about my cranky and apathetic attitude today. Former filmmaker seeks some kind of job that pays money. What kind of job is irrelevant. Skills include handing things to egomaniacs who need an entire staff to help them dress every day, knitting during breaks and wasting huge amounts of time on the internet. Career goals include having this job for only as long as it takes to get my fiber farm functional. I will need loads of time off to help care for my dying mother and my farm and to visit my husband on his location shoots as well as traveling to fiber festivals. Interests include making seeds into food, making hair into string, making string into clothing and exploding vegetables all over my kitchen. You’d hire me, wouldn’t you?

And finally, I’d like to just air a couple of quick complaints/Public Service Announcements:

1. You know that stick-thing that pokes out to the left of your steering wheel? The one that sometimes has your windshield wiper controls on it? Well, if you were to push that whole stick-thing either up or down it would activate a blinking light that would signal other drivers of your intention to change lanes or make a turn. They have these in every car. If everyone used these, it would be safer and less frustrating to share the road with one another.

2. This one is for women in GA, as I haven’t seen it elsewhere, but if appropriate it could apply to women everywhere. If you wear pantyhose, please for the love of Pete (and everyone else not named Pete) do not wear open-toed shoes. Especially sandals. Do you even know how stupid it looks to have that toe seam poking out of your shoes? Do you understand that the function of sandals is to keep your feet cool and you completely defeat that purpose by wearing pantyhose with them? Do you have any idea that because you chose the “suntan” shade for your pantyhose that is about 8 shades different from the rest of your skin that it stands out and makes us gawk at your feet with their crooked toe seam sticking out of your shoe? Stop it, please stop it. Do it for Pete. Thank you.

The PMS Report

Filed under: Filter Purge, Misc, knit blogs — La at 6:03 pm on Friday, July 28, 2006

But first, I’m climbing onto the bandwagon and posting my Friday Eye Candy.
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Yes, folks, that’s dew on that lily…literally. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen dew on anything in this mild inferno? A break to this heatwave can’t be far behind, and that’s truly a beautiful thing!

Ok, enough of all that nature appreciation shit, on to the subject at hand:

I hate having “Crap Shoot” PMS. You know the kind: Roll the dice to see what shit you’re gonna have to put up with this month. I feel like screaming, STOP the rollercoaster, I wanna get off! And I usually LOVE rollercoasters, except for the ones that go way up high, and then slam you down way low…REEEEEALLY fucking fast, and the ones that drop you a bazillion feet in zero-point-zero seconds, oh! and the ones that bounce you around so bad they rattle your bones right outta your body…

Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, bitching about PMS. I’d give my eye-teeth for something predictable and constant. Oh, yeah, and can we ease up on the cramps a bit? Jeezus!

So, to distract myself from this month’s “The-Sky-is-Falling!!!/I-Desperately-Need-A-Hug-Because-I-Totally-Suck/Men-are-Assy” PMS, I’ve been collecting these links all week and figured I’d better post something about it soon, else the targeted entries will have vanished into archives, which would send some of you trolling, but the rest (*cough*SKIMMERS*cough*), running, screaming the other way.

1. Moonie’s sharing trade secrets! Check out her Handmade Soap Tutorial complete with visuals!
2. The walls come tumbling down on Lace for All Seasons. Read all about it at Snow’s. (I’m not at all that sad, really. The list was becoming REALLY fucking annoying/boring/a massive wastage of my time. I’m just gonna miss having that pretty button on my page. Oh well…)
3. Found this spiffy new button over at Knitnaked
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I think I’ll keep it.
4. The Fiendish One, Lucia, is holding nominations for “The Addicts Choice Award.” Go nominate your favorite Knit Blog today! Okay, okay! Nominate who you want…sheesh.

There has been some knitting going on, a new WIP in fact, I just don’t feel like writing about it as it is making my head explode. Maybe Monday when this fucked up mood is gone and I can actually think.

One last thing. You all are pretty smart, and I just can’t figure it out. Answer me this: Why does the man who insists on cooling all the bathrooms, closets, and the cupboard under the stairs, find it necessary/appropriate to take me to task for leaving one measily 20-watt light on?

Now if only it were 5:00 so that I can get to yelling at the morons with whom I share the 91 freeway, who stand between me and my bottle of sure-fire cramp-remover (tequila) and my SicSci-Fi Friday.

Random Wednesday? Actually *on* a Wednesday?

Filed under: Misc — jenifleur at 4:26 pm on Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Remember the finch that laid eggs in my windchime? Here’s the update: baby birds So small and so ugly.

Speaking of ugly,
blueberry poundcake
I used a bunch of those blueberies to make a pound cake. Only I forgot to spray the bundt pan so it kind of stuck. And yes, the bottom is up because it’s the more attractive of the two options. But it sure tastes goooooooooood! I’m not much of a sweets eater normally, most especially cake, but I like pound cake because there’s no icing needed. Icing is the main reason I don’t care much for cake, usually. And no, this isn’t on my diet but I’ve been sweating off the L-B’s lately what with being sick and having no appetite, running a fever and doing construction in the heat wave so I said what the hell. So there.

And yes, I’m finally feeling better, thank you all for your well wishes! Not 100% but something approximating human anyway. And I even started a knitting project today.
farm play mat pattern
Yes, I’m knitting a farm. Well, a farm play mat. For my neice. This should be the only holiday present you will see me knit. This is from the Debbie Bliss Knitted Toys book. The blanket is the fields and hedges and hay bales then you knit the animals to go with it. She neglected to write patterns for the alpacas, angora goats and guineas so I’ll have to work those out for myself. You had to know I would eventually find a way to make the farm and the knitting blend.

I have two things I really need and I figured well hell, blogland is so helpful I’ll just ask them! 1) I need 1.2 million dollars to buy the 136 acres behind me before they sell it for a development and 2) I need you all to help me put pressure on La to come to SAFF. See, I had given my consent for my name to be bandied about on behalf of someone and the agreement was that in exchange for such that when the time came La would be able to come to the fiber event of our choosing without any sidelong glances, whining or other protestations. The time has come. So all of you who are going to SAFF, please tell her how much she needs to be there this year. For those of you not coming, just do it for me, ok? Thanks!

What the Eff?!?

Filed under: Misc — La at 5:01 pm on Tuesday, July 25, 2006

This WTF moment is brought to you by rampant crapitalism…

Why, if it’s Kentucky Fried Chicken, they play a jacked-up version of Sweet Home Alabama in their commercials? Do they think no one will notice?

What’s up with that?

Damn and Blast

Filed under: A Glass of Whine, Lace, Misc — La at 4:30 pm on Monday, July 24, 2006

First of all, to the asshat who messed with the thermostat in my office:

Fucktard! May your hands whither and fall off your body, 2 seconds before your penis does.

The asshat (whoever he was, because you KNOW it was a man…) TURNED OFF the A/C programming so at 8:30 this morning I had the distinct pleasure of walking into a blast furnace, and after a whole 4 hours the temp has only dropped 3 degrees. Makes for a wonderful start to my week, dontcha think…

But wait, there’s more! Have you ever experience “FerKreistsake!” knitting? That’s when you are so sick and tired of knitting an item that you’d rather use your own irises as needle holders than knit another fucking stitch on it? Yeah, I’m so there…with Seraphim, unfortunately. I’m SO entirely over it that, even though I totally fucacta’d the second half of the shawl 2 lace rows back, I’ll be damned if I’m gonna tink it to fix it. To hell with it. I just want it done. Besides, Momoze was kind of fucked up, so why shouldn’t his shawl be fucked up too?

I want it done so I can move on to something else, but yesterday I just couldn’t bring myself to pick it up and knit the final lace row before I start the edging. What a dichotomy, huh? I want it done, but I don’t want to do it. And once I start doing it again, I just KNOW I’m gonna have to stop because I’m going to run out of yarn, and then order 1 measlily ball from Elann, and then wait for it to ship. Of course, if I do a premptive, and order the yarn now, I’m not going to need it at all, and be stuck with 1 measily ball of yarn left over.

Or maybe I’m just a whiney little twatsicle (see Rabbitch, I warned you I’d use it!) today because some bitch turned off my A/C.

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